A Memorial

One hard part about losing someone integral is how the world understands up to a point but it moves on before you are ready. Even I am compelled to move on to a degree. I have a family to care for. A job. I cannot retreat into solitude.

The weight of loss hits at random moments. Sitting in my parents house after the funeral, after everyone else has come and gone... staring at his empty chair. The tomblike silence hits hard.

Soon, I'll be leaving an empty house for the first time. I think of all the things, his books especially, no longer to be handled, the words read. They sit there too, a silent memorial to his life.

I sit there, in this memorial to the life he built. And I weep.